Science Suggests: Moms Who Don’t Properly Cook Hot Pockets Are More Likely to Fall Down The Basement Stairs. 

 May 20, 2020

​It happens too often. You've just finished successfully trash talking a 12 year old squeaker into rage quitting. You take a victory bite out of a fresh hot-pocket only to find it's ice cold in the middle. Life isn't fair and you're sick of the bullshit.

You're not alone. Every day middle age men around the world are subject to savory pastry sabotage by someone they thought they could trust, mom.

Now, your mom's inability to properly warm things up in a microwave might be hazardous, scientists say.

In a shocking discovery, science found moms who fail to thoroughly cook frozen foods for their adult sons are 50% more likely to "have an accident" the next time they come down the basement stairs.

Science warns, in order to prevent injury, mothers who routinely descend into their basements to clean, pick up laundry, and deliver food should first check the internal temperature of all microwaved snacks.

If you are a mom who's failed their son by providing unacceptably heated hot-pockets, now's the time to change.

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