We photographed Joe Biden handing Florida beachgoers Wether's Original and saying "vote for Uncle Joe!" This violates the campaign rule against solicitation for votes.
We asked several who were sucking on the buttery candy where they got the Werther's.
"We got them from that old guy on the beach. He even gave us these reverse mortgages, I don't even own a house!" -Random Beachgoer
It's clear Joe Biden is trying to buy votes in popular swing states. Our sources also tell us Biden is offering free Olfactory Hair "readings" to women 20 years old or younger.