Walmart announced today mandatory masks for all customers entering their stores. They also thanked the Anti-Mask Boycotters for inadvertently boosting their safety rating.
"We didn't think a boycott like this would increase customer satisfaction like it has. People finally feel safe walking into our stores." - Walmart CEO Doug McMillon
Doug McMillon has been under fire for not taking proper precautions in slowing the spread of COVID-19 at his stores.
"Our mandatory mask policy has transformed Walmart from a sketchy 'hope I don't get stabbed' big box store into a less crowded, 'please and thank you' oasis. -D. McMillon
There's no word if Walmart plans on lifting the mandatory mask mandate, as latest reports show profits steadily climbing.
Customer satisfaction seems to be the key to Walmart's newfound success.
"This is great, I haven't had to step over one meth head or kick away any used diapers." -Satisfied, Mask Wearing Walmart Customer.